After fourteen years of marriage, my partner and I have learned to strike a balance between our busy family life and nurturing the romance. With two young daughters, quality time together has become a precious commodity. As someone who grew up devouring self-help books on relationships, I believe it’s essential to prioritize showing love and affection in my own marriage.
In fact, as a teenager, I used to clip out inspirational quotes about love from my mom’s ‘1,001 Ways to Be Romantic’ book – a habit that has stuck with me to this day. As much as romantic gestures were important to me before meeting my husband, they remain just as vital now. That’s why I want to share some of the ways we continue to cultivate love and romance in our relationship, and explore new ideas to keep things fresh and exciting.
Show Him How Much You Care:
Kiss Regularly
The simplest yet most powerful form of human connection can be a gentle kiss on the lips, serving as a reminder that you are there for one another no matter what’s happening. But it appears this connection goes beyond just that physical touch – research suggests that it can have tangible benefits too. For instance, studies have shown that regular kissing can lead to lower blood pressure and even fewer cavities.
This is according to ‘Hungry For Change,’ an article that highlights the surprising ways in which our emotional connections with others can impact our overall well-being.
Love Notes
As we’ve grown together over the years, my husband and I have found creative ways to prioritize our relationship. Our story began with handwritten love notes, a tradition that started when we got married just two months after his 18th birthday – September of his senior year. Without cell phones or texting, letters became our lifeline while I was in college, living six hours apart. Although it meant receiving them weeks later, the anticipation only added to the excitement.
When life took us in different directions during a period of transition, we adapted again, exchanging morning phone calls instead of letters. Nowadays, as I’m busy with my teaching schedule, good morning texts have become our go-to way to start the day, reminding each other that we’re more than just partners – we’re priorities.
Occasionally, though, I still like to surprise him by leaving a heartfelt letter in a unexpected place, not just for the note itself, but for the joy it brings to his day.
Keep the House Clean
I recall reading ’31 Ways to a Happy Husband’ and having a transformative experience. It started me thinking about how my own household dynamics were impacting my relationship with my partner. The truth is, I used to get anxious when our home wasn’t spotless – it was as if the dust bunnies under the furniture had accumulated just as much stress as they did dirt. But here’s the thing: I’m not alone in this feeling. It’s likely that my husband, who provides for our family, feels the same way.
After all, when he comes to help me with car troubles or assist with house hunting, I see the toll it takes on him. That’s why I began to view a quick 15-minute bathroom tidy in a new light – as a way to take some of that stress off his shoulders and remind him that he’s respected and valued around our home.
Eat Together, Cook if Possible
I’m convinced that some of the most cherished moments of our lives are linked to food. The memories of savoring a meal with loved ones, regardless of whether it’s a romantic dinner or a family gathering, hold a special place in our hearts. For me, two specific instances stand out as particularly memorable.
One takes me back to a time before kids when my partner and I, both non-drinkers at the time, managed to convince a gas station attendant to buy us a six-pack of beer, which we enjoyed while cooking dinner together. It was a truly magical experience, one that felt like it could have been plucked straight from a movie script. To this day, sharing meals as a couple and as a family remains one of our favorite ways to spend quality time together.
Pretend You’ve Never Met
As a teacher, I’ve grown accustomed to the freedom that comes with summers off. My family and I started our break with a quick trip to visit my grandparents-in-law, where we spent quality time together. When we returned home, my mother-in-law, who’s also an educator, kindly offered to watch our kids. This allowed me to indulge in some well-deserved relaxation. Prior to settling back into reality, my family and I decided to have a little fun.
We imagined what life would be like if I were someone else – someone without the responsibilities that come with being a parent and all its attendant stressors. We spent hours playing along during my nine-hour drive home and continued the game for a few more hours afterwards before returning to our regular selves. It was a delightful experience, and one that made us appreciate not only where we are now but also what’s been, is, and will be in the future.
Dream Together
As my children grow older, a mix of emotions swirl inside me. The phrase ‘The days are long, but the years are short’ takes on new meaning as I watch our youngest daughter enter her teenage years. It’s astonishing how quickly time passes. My husband and I often discuss our plans for after she graduates in 2025, including building a rental property portfolio and securing a comfortable nest egg.
We’ve already made progress by purchasing an old station wagon and planning to invest in or build a teardrop camper soon. The prospect of embarking on an adventure with my partner is exhilarating – we’re envisioning a cross-country journey to visit every state in the USA, with no fixed destination in mind. While our aspirations may differ from yours, it’s crucial to nurture that shared dream and allow it to flourish for its own sake, as well as for the health of your relationship.
Do Something Together
While flipping through the pages of 1,001 Ways to Be Romantic, a few ideas stood out that have since become cherished memories. The concept of learning to make pizza together or embarking on a wine and chocolate tour as a couple resonated deeply. However, it was the idea of packing a surprise getaway for my partner without their knowledge that truly stole the show. What matters most is finding an activity you both appreciate and sharing in the experience together.
For us, this has meant everything from cooking up a storm to working on our vintage cars. The fact that we’ve developed a taste for each other’s hobbies has only strengthened our bond, as we take turns indulging in each other’s passions. Being together while pursuing shared interests imbues both of us with a sense of togetherness and specialness.
Turn the Cell Phones Off
A memorable date we shared was a few years after our wedding and shortly after the arrival of our second daughter. The weather was pleasant in March, and we had just received our tax refund check. We entrusted the girls to our in-laws’ care and embarked on an adventure to the nearest big city.
The day unfolded with window shopping, a leisurely lunch at a fine restaurant, and a sweet treat from a Girl Scout troop.
However, what stands out most in my mind was putting our phones away for the day. This simple act allowed us to shut out the world and focus on each other, making the experience even more special.
I believe it’s crucial to put your phone away when you’re out with someone you care about. There’s nothing worse than being at a lovely dinner spot and having your date spend more time staring at their screen than engaging with you.
Go to the Playground
In the early days of our relationship, the local park was our go-to spot for relaxation and quality time together. It all started at a restaurant where we both worked – he’d finish his shifts later than I would, leaving us with limited options after hours. During the summer months, the park was the more appealing choice.
Fast forward to the present, and while our lives have evolved, we still cherish those moments of serenity and connection.
Whenever possible, we’d take a stroll through the park, occasionally asking friends to watch the girls for a few hours. The absence of cell phones, the starry night sky above, and the soothing sounds of crickets and nature created the perfect setting for us to reconnect and strengthen our bond.
It’s time to recapture that magic again.
Snuggle
The comfort of physical closeness with a loved one is undeniable. The subtle act of leaning in, allowing your skin to make contact with theirs, can speak volumes about the depth of your emotional connection. It’s a tactile expression of affection that transcends the need for elaborate words or grand gestures. In this quiet moment, you’re reminded that sometimes the simplest displays of love and care can be the most powerful.
Purchase Little Trinkets
In every person’s life, there’s a unique love story waiting to be told. Mine involves an unexpected twist – a tornado that lifted my partner’s car off the ground! As fate would have it, I had previously lent him my 1997 Sunfire. He returned the car spotless, inside and out, with a thoughtful gesture that still holds sentimental value: a set of flaming dice for my ride. Though I eventually traded in the vehicle, I’ve kept those dice as a reminder of his kind gesture.
This experience taught me that giving someone a small gift they’ll truly appreciate can be a romantic and heartfelt way to show you care.
Put Yourself First
As I reflect on the most transformative experiences of my life, one that stands out is the journey towards self-acceptance. It was a culmination of two decades of self-discovery, marked by its share of highs and lows. A solo vacation in [city] served as the catalyst for this metamorphosis, allowing me to celebrate my newfound love and appreciation for myself.
The path to self-confidence wasn’t easy; it took time, patience, and a willingness to learn from my experiences.
However, this growth had an unexpected yet profound impact on my marriage. By prioritizing my own well-being, I inadvertently became more attractive and fulfilled, which in turn strengthened our bond.
In hindsight, the challenges we faced were essential in shaping us into the people we are today. While I’m grateful for the journey, I wouldn’t wish to revisit those difficult times.
Take Time to Yourself, Let Them Do Likewise, and Know That It’s Okay
In the early days of our marriage, my husband would often head out with his buddies for a night on the town in our small hometown. I’d stay behind, knowing that this was their time to bond and create memories. I respected his need for independence and understood that these nights were essential for him to recharge. Little did I know that he’d return the favor just as generously.
In recent weeks, work assignments have kept me busy – first with a county fair auction and then a culinary competition. Instead of complaining or feeling left out, my husband took our kids on an adventure, letting them decide what they wanted to do. This selfless act only added to his charm.
Tell Them How You Really Feel
As my mother recovered from surgery over the Christmas holidays, our conversations ranged far and wide. One topic that came up was how fascinating it’s been to watch someone close to me evolve as they’ve grown older. Even now, when reflecting on our relationship, I’m struck by the enduring affection I hold for this person – just as strong as it was during our teenage years.
As he arrived at the hospital to take me home, I made sure to share my thoughts with him.
Specifically, I praised his distinguished peppered hair, which may not seem like a conventional compliment, but trust me, it is.
Conclusion: Make It a Journey
For the past fourteen years, a constant companion has been your significant other – always present in your thoughts. In the midst of daily routines, it’s easy to overlook two invaluable assets: time and relationships. Your partner is someone you’ve chosen to share your life with, and as such, they deserve care and attention. I’m committed to prioritizing my loved one, and I encourage you to do the same.
